Ear Beer

This blog post is not about ears or beer. But that is a fun rhyme.

Other fun rhymes:

1. Mint Lint
2. Frisky Whiskey
3. Poodle Noodle
4. Rhyme Slime
5. Snuggle Juggle

Ideas for how do deal with annoying people

1. Pretend they're not talking to you
2. Trick them into getting on a plane with a one-way ticket to Azerbaijan
3. Every time they start talking, play your xylophone
4. Every time they start talking, do cartwheels repeatedly
5. If they are being rude and brash, remain extra calm. My mom always called this "killing them with kindness." It really pisses people off. Thanks mom.
6. Ask Annoying Person to play hide and seek with you.... and then don't seek them
7. Meditate and pray
8. Move away

Things I'm going to buy now that I'm a cat owner

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  A new cat necklace to don so people know when I am not WITH Ricky that I have a cat.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

• A shirt to go with my cat necklace, just in case people aren't standing close enough to me to realize that my necklace has three cats hanging off of it. They will be able to see my awesome tye-dye t-shirt from further away.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  While at home, it is useful to have a place to put my glasses that displays them AND makes a statement about what I love - cats.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  And finally, I thought it would be best to display this on my front door.

Reasons I (and my blog) rule over Kelly

1. My blog is more pleasing to the eye
2. I am smarter, faster, and stronger
   
3. I am an Americorps and Kelly is not - i.e. I am serving AMERICA, and Kelly is not.
   
4. My handwriting is bigger.
5. I am older
6. I have a stuffed bear that could beat up her stuffed panther
7. My blog received 10 out of 10 stars on a recent poll
   
8. I am more humble
9. I have gone on more blind dates than Kelly has
10. My family has been on national television, and their reality show episode was NUMBER ONE.
    
11. My cat is cuter than her cat
    

And there you have it. Undeniable proof that I rule over Kelly.

Funny Product Warning Labels

I was came across this while I was looking for something else, but it is awesome, so I'm glad I did. Here are some of the highlights

1. Hair Coloring Do not use as an ice cream topping


2. Mattress Warning: Do not attempt to swallow


3. Air Conditioner Caution: Avoid dropping air conditioners out of windows.


4. Blanket from Taiwan Not to be used as protection from a tornado


5. Infant's bathtub Do not throw baby out with bath water.


6. 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow Not intended for highway use


7. Package of Fisherman's Friend throat lozenges Not meant as substitute for human companionship.

I think #6 is my favorite. No, they're all my favorite.