Worky work

I am currently eating some very questionable leftovers from going out to Phad Thai last week with Carolyn. That's what happens when you don't bring your lunch to work. You have to eat questionable leftovers.

Jabbawockeez are America's Best Dance Crew!

Skip the first part and watch the dance. Towards the end one of the guys spins on his head for like 3 minutes. Seriously, it's amazing.

Profile #5: Charles Lewis Jobe

Name: Charles Lewis Jobe

Age: 45

Birthday: October 21st (Although until last year, literally, I thought it was the 23rd)

Hometown: Puyallup, WA

Relationship to me: Dad. Technically, he is my step-father, but I don't think of him that way. He's just my dad.

Nicknames: Noodles, Papa Bear, Papason, Chuck Diesel, Chuckles, Cranky Curls, Chaz (that's a new one I picked for him), Posh, Posh Spice, Vic, Father Dearest, Thor

Quick Summary of life history: Mom was from Germany and dad was in the military; lived in Germany for a few years in his childhood; became an optician, worked at Willows Optical, became co-owner, married my mom Laureen circa 1988.

Nuclear Family - Mom, Guisella; Dad, Charlie Sr; Brothers Leary and Dave, Sisters Linda and Caren, he was #4 of 5 kids in the family


German words I've learned from my dad: (I am making up the spelling of all of these words)

- Machenelle = Hurry up.
- Splikenze Deutch? = nothing, he just always says that when he wants to make noise for no reason
- Guten morgen = Good morning

Things Papa Bear Likes:

- MASH (the TV show)
- Monkeys (they make him laugh)
- Answering the phone in ways that he thinks are funny (ie "Dominos Pizza, how may I help you?" or "Why are you calling again?")
- Chasing my brothers
- Howling so that all the dogs will start howling
- Remodeling the house and building things
- Medical TV shows
- Eyeballs
- The name "Vic"
- Beating my brothers in physical challenges

Comfort Item: His super-gross decaying pillow from like 1965 that he insists is the perfect consistency for sleeping on. Seriously, it's grosser than Snowy.

Claim to Fame: He has several.

1) He starred in plays in high school. This includes playing Edmund in Narnia and Jesus in Jesus Christ Superstar.

2) Our house was featured on an episode of Trading Spaces. It was recently voted the #1 Trading Spaces Episode of all time. You can even watch it on DVD.

Fun Facts About Charles Lewis Jobe:

1) He had an afro in high school.

2) Once, I was upstairs sleeping and he didn't know I was home so he thought he was alone. I was awakened by an extremely loud vocal rendition of "WHO LET THE DOGS OUT? WOOF, WOOF WOOF-WOOF!"

3) He has always coached my little brothers' sports teams.

4) He pretends not to like the dogs but he really, really does. (He actually doesn't like the cats, however.)

5) He has 2 jokes that he loves to tell over and over to new people. These have been the same 2 jokes that he has told since I was 13.

Love Language: My dad expresses love through Acts of Service. I wouldn't mention this except for that it is so, so true about him. Once, I really, really wanted to go to Ellensburg to see my friend but I there was some complication with me driving my car over there...the pass... something. Anyway, I wasn't going to be able to go and I was absolutely crushed and then my dad was like, "I'll take her." He voluntarily drove for like 4 hours to drop me off in Ellensburg. It was ridiculously generous. It was the nicest thing.

I've got a good dad.

I rule over Lynn

105

Honestly, I stomp Lynn in everything I do. It's almost embarrassing.

Profile #4: The Llama at Frontier Ranch

Name: Funny Llama

Age: Unknown

Relationship to me: Inspiration.

Fun facts about Funny Llama: I met this llama 2 years ago, once. He stuck his face in the hay and then looked at me. I was laughing so hard I am impressed that I was able to get a picture of him.

He continues to inspire me daily.

I have been practicing.

94

Yes! My highest yet!

73

">73

"

I have been obsessed with this for awhile. I have also learned a lot by being obsessed with this. For example, Christmas Island is a real country.

Profile #3: Rebecca Barber

Name: Rebecca Barber

Nicknames: Becca, Beaver, Schnoodle, Fartface

Age: 23

Hometown: Shelton, WA

Current home: Bellingham, WA

Education: BA in Sociology from WWU

Occupation: Full-time (and by full-time I mean like 70 hours a week) Inntern at the Inn Ministries


Once.... Becca dressed up like Mrs Beaver from The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe. She wrapped a scarf around her head to be the fur. We didn't realize that she was going to do this. We laughed and laughed and laughed.


Becca Likes:

• Babies
• Chocolate
• Facebook Photo Albums
• Jesus
• Justin Timberlake
• Heartwarming stories
• Baby Blue

Diseases Named After Becca: Becca-rettes. Becca-rettes can be defined as an "uncontrollable outpouring of inappropriate comments or gestures, often sexual in nature." Becca-rettes was given its name after this event:

Several friends were visiting Tommy Lingbloom's house during the summer. During lunch, there were a few different conversations going on simultaneously. Without warning, Becca interrupted herself, turned towards people that were engaged in another conversation and said very loudly and directly, "COW BALLS." All conversations stopped. What? What did Becca say?

Cow balls.

Becca's Skills:

• Singing
• Taking care of people when they are sick
• Taking pictures
• Pretending to be her butt in slow motion

Great Becca Quotes:

1. "He'll always be Lil Bow-Wow to me." (re: Lil Bow-Wow changing name to Bow Wow)


2. "I like to part my hair down the stairs."


3. "He was dating a 5'2-year-old."


4. "How much smoke did he pot?"

Fun Fact About Becca: She has a larger than ordinary collection of photos she's taken of herself. She very much enjoys snapping several photos of herself in one session.

Evidence:

And that's Becca. I love you!

Profile #2: Tucker Jobe

Name: Tucker Jobe

Age: 6 human years... 42 dog years? (Geeze, I didn't realize Tucker was middle-aged)

Home: Puyallup, Washington

Breed: 3/4 ShitZu 1/4 Poodle

Weight: Like 7 pounds

Relationship: My mother's dog / my replacement in her life when I left for college

Comfort Item: Small squeaky frog, deemed "Froggy." Froggy smells like the underside of a dead animal carcus. He has many similar animal toys that also squeak (Ducky, Squirrelly, Beary, Santa Frog) but he doesn't like them as much as he loves Original Froggy. (Note: This is actually a cat toy. No one has told Tucker this.)

Favorite Pastime: Tucker enjoys a variety of activities, but his favorite would be the game "Where's Froggy?" which consists of hiding Froggy under a blanket and squeaking him. Tucker then paws at the blanket until he's tired (usually after about 30 minutes of incessant play) when he will crawl under the blanket, find Froggy, lay down and squeak him in his mouth for awhile. It's a very fun game.

Other Favorite Games:

• "Gimme Dat Frog" (chasing Tucker with Froggy in mouth around the house)


• "I Love Froggy" (holding Froggy tenderly in your hands and squeaking him tantalizingly at Tucker)


• "Fetch Froggy" (just like it sounds)

Occupation: Full-time Neighborhood Patrol. Tucker takes this job very, very, very seriously. If anything goes by the window at all, even if it has gone by the window every day for the past 6 years, Tucker alerts the family through a series of high-pitched, ear-piercing barks. It is very useful. Last time I was home, Tucker alerted me to the fact that one of our neighbors was pulling into his driveway. I wouldn't have realized this essential fact were it not for our Tucker Alert System.

Biggest Pet Peeve: When any other animals get attention of any kind from anyone in the house. Tucker knows that he is the cutest, sweetest, best animal available, and it rightfully bothers him when not everyone is paying attention to this fact.

Most Painful Memory: He actually has 2.

1. When Derek dropped him as a puppy. It took him about 5 years to forgive Derek, and is still fairly agitated towards all teenage boys.
   
2. When my mom put him in a tiny red dog t-shirt that said "Little Devil" and he thought he looked quite handsome until Sassy (our other dog) laughed at him. Now he won't wear tiny dog t-shirts.

Personal Qualities:

Opinionated

Barky

Snugly (when he wants to be)

Perky

Favorite People: My brother's best friend Chris Perez, my grandmother, Monica McLean, me

Food of Choice: Cheese. Tucker loves cheese forever and if you say "Cheese" he will sit by the refrigerator and wait for you to give him some.

Look-Alikes: A Gremlin, The Grinch, a Yeti, occasionally Mickey Mouse (when he gets his ears cut really short)

Poem I wrote in honor of Tucker Jobe This Christmas

Profile #1: Earl Johnson, Grandfather

Name: Earl Johnson
Age: Grandpa-age
Home: Orting, WA
Relationship to me: My grandfather on my mom's side.






Fun Facts about Grandpa Earl:

• He worked as a commercial fisherman.

• He is left-handed, but went to a Catholic school as a child and they taught him that left-handedness was Satanic. So they made him write with his right hand. Now he is right-handed.

• I call him Early Bird sometimes.

• Early Bird does not think that students should use calculators. When I was in high school, I was taking Advanced Placement Calculus and I was doing my homework on the kitchen table. As I was taking an fractional equation to the fourth derivitive and graphing it, my wise grandfather snatched my calculator away and told me, "School's gotten to easy these days. You know, Nicole, when I was in school we didn't have these little machines. You had to use your BRAIN." Thanks Grandpa. I had to do the remainder of my homework without a calculator (which, by the way, is impossible. After he went home, I took the calculator back and finished my homework.)

• He looks very cute in Irish hats.

• He sometimes makes offensive comments about drunk drivers. Not offensive TO the drunk drivers, mind you, but offensive to society. Things like, "Some people drive better drunk because they are more careful."

• One of my favorite pictures ever taken is with him. He's throwing me up in the air when I was like two. I don't remember this, but I look very joyful in the pictures.

• He was locked in a closet for "a long time" as a child and when he came out, he had lost the ability to speak. At his school, Sister Laureen (one of the nun teachers) taught him to talk again and he named my mom after her.

• He was quite the hottie as a young man. I've seen pictures. Yeah, Grandpa.

• He likes the Cougars.

• He goes to Alaska every year and used to bring me back presents. He doesn't so much bring me presents anymore. What's the deal, Grandpa?

• His mother's name was DeMay. I have one of her piano books with Christmas songs in it. I think about her when I use it at Christmastime.

• He has donated a lot of blood in his life. I know because the blood bank he goes to always gave him fuzzy-ball people with sticky feet that said "I Donated Blood" and he would give them to me.

Early Bird is a fantastic grandfather. He always came to my dance recitals and I know they were super boring. Thanks, Grandpa. I love you.

Upcoming Blogging Event

I have decided to write profiles of people in my life that I love. This is for many reasons:

1. It would be fun
   
2. In case our planet gets taken over by robots and I die but become a robot version of myself, I can download this information and remember you all.
   

Examples of possible upcoming profilees:

Unsuspecting Family Members, friends,

pets,

Jacson,

and freaks.

More to come!

Narnia 4EVA

Today I am meeting with my favorite little genius. I meet with him on Wednesdays at the tutoring site I oversee. He's not officially signed up for Flying Colors, but he lives next door to the tutoring site and I met him through some of Rebound's other programming. Since I was sitting at the site "overseeing" it every week, but really doing nothing, I called his mum and asked if he would like to come and have some one-on-one friendship time every week.


I'll call him Little S. Little S is a smarty. He is five (5) years old and just entered kindergarten this year. He was tested and is at a 7th grade reading comprehension level. He can not only read, but comprehend what he's reading at a 7th grade level.


Not that I'm totally surprised by this. The other day I was hanging out with him and he was reading to me from a (lengthy) children's book that was obviously written in the seventies titled Ancient People Groups. It was very boring.


Anyway, today I'm bringing The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe to start reading with him. I think he'll really like it. Also, I will really like it. So that makes it all the more fun.

This is my favorite cover of the Narnia book. You know, it's been published a bunch of times with "cooler" covers, but this is the one I read and I love the most. Yeah for things from the seventies.

Also, The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe is THE FIRST BOOK IN THE SERIES. Some other people (idiots, the AntiChrist, his minions, etc.) might try to convince you that the first book is the Magician's Nephew. UNTRUE. DO NOT FALL FOR THIS.

The Magician's Nephew is book number six (6). SIX. Read them in this order:

1. The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe
2. Prince Caspian
3. The Voyage of the Dawn Treader
4. The Silver Chair
5. The Horse and His Boy
6. The Magician's Nephew
7. The Last Battle

Proof. You're welcome.

I rule. I rule at Scrabulous.

So, let's just say that I got an 89 point word today. "Injects." Did you get that?

89 POINTS

* For those of you that live in the Stone Age and don't know what scrabulous is, it's just like online scrabble. The average word is worth like 10-15 points. People who rule at scrabulous can get more. Like me. Like I did today. I rule.

Funny / Awesome / Click on it Now

Just as you requested

Dear Contingency,

Per your request, I have enlarged the photo of myself below (see post: Queen). Your opinions matter!

Cordially,
F.Q. Nicole Kristine

Hehe.

Queen

Reasons we should do away with the current government structure and create a monarchy in which I am Queen:

• I am very physically attractive and my face will look great on our new currency.


• I could end poverty with all my good ideas.


• You know how there's laws that have to do with employment, like minimum wage and stuff? Well, I will create minimum requirements for fun levels on the job. For example, every American worker will have to participate in one (paid) 30 minute stress-free recreation activity during the work day, like frisbee, video games, bouncy castle jumping, gardening, etc.
  


• I will implement tea-time in America.


• I will implement siestas mid-day, like they have in Spain and Mexico.


• When people file their taxes, I will send them their tax returns like normal, EXCEPT everyone will also get one special tax-return present, wrapped up and everything. Delivered to their house. Who doesn't like presents? No one. It'll make everyone happy about taxes. (People might even send in extra tax money just because they like me so much!)

• My queen dress would be made out of an American flag (but I will only wear it for the remainder of my VISTA term).



• Annoying people will be deported instead of immigrants. They won't go to Siberia or anything, but a special annoying colony on an island where they can all irritate themselves instead of us.


• I would have Usher write me a Queen Theme Song, that will be sung after the National Anthem at large gatherings (like baseball games and school assemblies.)


• Snowy would be one of my advisers.


• I would probably give all my friends and family some of my gold and jewels. (Royal people have gold and jewels.) (And also, not jewels like guys refer to their weenies as jewels. That's gross.)



• I am regal looking.


• Who better to function as our country's next monarch than someone who has so much experience running programs/countries? (Flying Colors Tutoring Program, for example.)

Well, I expect that you can see that I possess the necessary qualities (and then some extra) for running a better country.