Queen

Reasons we should do away with the current government structure and create a monarchy in which I am Queen:

• I am very physically attractive and my face will look great on our new currency.


• I could end poverty with all my good ideas.


• You know how there's laws that have to do with employment, like minimum wage and stuff? Well, I will create minimum requirements for fun levels on the job. For example, every American worker will have to participate in one (paid) 30 minute stress-free recreation activity during the work day, like frisbee, video games, bouncy castle jumping, gardening, etc.
  


• I will implement tea-time in America.


• I will implement siestas mid-day, like they have in Spain and Mexico.


• When people file their taxes, I will send them their tax returns like normal, EXCEPT everyone will also get one special tax-return present, wrapped up and everything. Delivered to their house. Who doesn't like presents? No one. It'll make everyone happy about taxes. (People might even send in extra tax money just because they like me so much!)

• My queen dress would be made out of an American flag (but I will only wear it for the remainder of my VISTA term).



• Annoying people will be deported instead of immigrants. They won't go to Siberia or anything, but a special annoying colony on an island where they can all irritate themselves instead of us.


• I would have Usher write me a Queen Theme Song, that will be sung after the National Anthem at large gatherings (like baseball games and school assemblies.)


• Snowy would be one of my advisers.


• I would probably give all my friends and family some of my gold and jewels. (Royal people have gold and jewels.) (And also, not jewels like guys refer to their weenies as jewels. That's gross.)



• I am regal looking.


• Who better to function as our country's next monarch than someone who has so much experience running programs/countries? (Flying Colors Tutoring Program, for example.)

Well, I expect that you can see that I possess the necessary qualities (and then some extra) for running a better country.