My finger is red and swollen.

Why, you ask? Here are the facts:

1. I am wearing a fairly new pair of pants.
2. Because the pants are fairly new, the back pockets are still sewn shut*
3. While I was talking to the board of directors president at our organization today, I was fiddling with my back pocket (still sewn shut.)
4. I realized that the corner of the pocket had a small un-sewn area, and that it was roughly finger-sized. I wiggled my finger into my back pocket absent mindedly.
5. I continued to talk with the board president.
6. There came a moment where I wanted to use my hands to gesture, and as such I lifted my hand from behind me.
7. Oh wait! I pulled my pants up and twisty, because my finger didn't come out of the pocket.
8. I ignored that that moment happened and continued to talk to the board president. (Who, by the way, is a man who I would guess is in his late fifties.)
9. As we talked, my panic rose higher and higher. No matter how I twisted my finger, I couldn't get it out of my pants.
10. The board president left.
11. I cried out to Rachel, "Shredder!** I can't get my finger out of my pants!!! Seriously!"
12. Shredder laughed at me.
13. I had her hold my pants on both sides of my finger, and on 1-2-3 I yanked my finger upwards and twisty-like.
14. My finger DID NOT COME OUT.
15. I started freaking out.
16. Shredder was laughing to hard to be very useful.
17. My finger really hurt at this point.
18. I had to give Sharon her messages because she was in a hurry to leave, so I had to access my computer left-handed because literally, there was no way to get my freaking finger out of my pants. It absolutely would not fit. I don't know if it had swollen from my panic or what, but it would not come out.
19. It was very difficult to do things with my finger stuck in my back pocket.
20. I should mention that it was the pointer finger on my right hand.
21. While I was talking to Sharon about her messages, Shredder got some SCISSORS and started SNIPPING near the area of concern. By my butt.
22. She poked me slightly with the scissors.
23. She laughed again .
24. She finally managed to snip the thread that was restraining me and
25. FREEDOM.
26. Now my finger is red and swollen. Seriously. What's the deal with the dangerous pants, here?

* I would like you to note that I don't know if back pockets of pants are supposed to stay sewn. I usually undo the sewing so they are just regular pocket-y pockets. I have always assumed that you are supposed to do that, but I don't know how the general public feels.

** I call Rachel "Shredder."